Everything was good fun until my nice, shiny website got hacked and was used to spam Germany. Here are two posts I saved from The Great Delete of 2008.
What Is Christmas Doing in My Halloween?
Dear Corporate America,
I wasn’t happy—but I wasn’t irate, either—about the melding of Christmas and Thanksgiving. Since I tend to put things off, having a few more weeks to wrap my head around the upcoming “Send Out Greetings and/or Gifts” days is a bit of a gift in itself. I would prefer to have Thanksgiving remain as it had been throughout my childhood: a firm line on the calendar which no peppy tune or bit of twinkly, tinselly decor could cross. But I understand why that line got a bit muddled. Thanksgiving, with its somewhat confusing mix of concepts (togetherness coupled with large-scale slaughter), has never lended itself to massive amounts of product sales. I don’t think schools even know what to do anymore. I haven’t seen any kids wandering home with construction-paper headdresses and pilgrim hats in years.
So, fine. I can deal with hearing Jingle Bells on the loudspeaker or watching “A Christmas Story” in late November.
But get the hell away from Halloween.
As I type, it’s barely the middle of October, the time for creepy ghosts and jack-o-lanterns; for witches’ hats and cauldrons and broomsticks; for skeletons and bats, and plasticky vampire teeth and tubes of fake blood. But what do I find? Tinsel-covered plastic evergreens, gigantic red-and-white stockings, package-filled sleighs, buckets of ornaments, and garland-covered archways. Entering a department store is like entering Whoville. I want Halloween-costume zombies, not zonked-out Christmas shoppers.